Having battled her way all the way down from the penthouse where the witch had imprisoned her, Princess Johana of Princess Place Tower arrived at floor 7.
Back on the 12th flight, Princess Johana had slain the red dragon, followed by the green and white dragons on flights 11 and 10 respectively.
On flight 9 she came face to face a shadowy figure who danced around the room mysteriously whispering into the her ear. “You’ve made things more difficult for yourself” the figure slithered. “You’re move will drag itself out over three months” it added unhelpfully. Princess Johana finally skewered the figure with her spear when it uttered “Peter is sending you twelve more boxes of books”. Princess Johana had made up her mind. There was resolute in her decision. She had left the penthouse when she realized that no prince would ever battle his way all the way up to her. It was safe herself or wither in the top of the tower forever. There was no giving into the doubts now.
Bursting through the door onto flight 8, Princess Johana quickly realized the only way to beat this flight was to sit quietly and endure as she watched the most unstylistic game of Mahjong she would have the displeasure of witnessing. American mahjong. It started when wind seat assignment was chosen through a game of rock-paper-scissors tag. Then in a twist, the winner sat in the north seat. Homemade tiles, produced from a plastic grocery bag, were dumped onto the table, where they were shuffled without even being flipped over. Of the ones facing up, Princess Johana could see that whoever had made the tiles had not bothered to draw any symbols, but had simply written “1 SOO” or “5 PIN” or “3 MAN”. Once the wall was built, the centrepiece, a dead fish, was replaced, and the 2 D20s were rolled to determine first dealership. Princess Johana sat in horror as temporary east rolled a 38 and counted all the way around the table nine and a half times. The dead wall was immediately separated, the dora flipped, and play began. The game dragged on. Some players took 15 minutes on their turn. Nobody ever called “pon” or “chi”, they just took tiles from other players hands, then revealed, then discarded. Special Yaku included such monstrosities as “a hand where all the tiles are wet”, and “all the tiles have teethmarks”, and “all the tiles are wet and have teethmarks (a yakuman level win if a richii stick was also placed on the fish). Chaos reigned. The fish smelled so terrible. Princess Johana had a headache. She though back wistfully to her fight with the red dragon. How naive she had been; so full of hope and energy to descend through the tower. She disassociated as much as she could. She tried to focus on anything else than the horror before her. But she couldn’t look away. As the hours passed, she became a shell of herself. She no longer remembered who she was or what she was doing. And then, an eternity later, the tiles were dumped back into the grocery bag, the creature gollum ate the fish, and it was all over.
Dazed, Princess Johana stumbled down to the seventh floor.
And there, awaiting her arrival, were Princess Kaori and Princess CaveDyke. Concerned at princess JoJo’s dishevelled appearance and wild eyes, they asked what trials had befallen her to leave her in such a state. Dreamily, Princess Johana said, “On the level above, I endured the unstylistic play of the south end sharks. I endured and suffered until at last I threw down my enemy and smote his ruin upon the mountain side. Darkness took me. And I strayed out of thought and time. The stars wheeled overhead, and everyday was as long as a life age of the earth. But it was not the end. I felt life in me again. I’ve been sent back, until my task is done.”
“Then let us play a game of style!” Sang Princess Kaori and Princess CaveDyke.
And what a game of style it was! Though the details seem to have been lost to time and poor record keeping.
But one thing was clear: Princess Johana had beat another flight of this troublesome tower! Princess CaveDyke guesses that there must of at least been a Haneman! What skill! What style!
Johana: 67,000 +32,000 Princess Kaori: 18,500 -16500 Princess CaveDyke: 20,500 −14500
Bouyed up by the camaraderie of a stylish game, Princess Johana packed up her green boxes, and expertly and methodically fought her way down the remaining 6 flights, never to return.
And here, dear reader, we arrive at end of this chapter of Mahjong at Princess Place. Upon her arrival in the lobby, Princess Johana was promoted to Queen Johana; a title that came with a new kingdom on Queen street, across the rolling plain and the summit overlooking the sea. What is in store for Queen Johana and the Mahjong Princesses in their new locale? The future is concealed in the mystery of those generous, devastating, and fickle tiles.
With credit to Tolkien and Jackson for the LOTR quote, and Muir for the narrative structure.
—Princess CaveDyke